What Is It Good For? Part 4: Big Wars

This is the final title I added to my collection of "Wars" anime.  More intergalactic warring, but this time we're headed to Mars.  You're in store for some allusions to religious radicalization in our last installment for the month:

Background:
Released By: U.S. Manga Corps
Length: 70 minutes
Year of Production: 1993
Language: Sub and Dub both included, Dub reviewed
Available on Netflix: Yes

There is a reason this was the last title I purchased in the Wars category.  First off the title was ridiculous.  Second, the preview for it I saw on another DVD did not make it look interesting at all, the one exception being the Golden UFOs that shot lightning bolts.  Those seemed kind of awesome.  

The Conflict:
The conflict in Big Wars is described by a mass of scrolling text at the start of the DVD.  Unfortunately it is poorly worded  and missing sections.  Essentially there is a race of aliens known as the gods who appeared in the solar system and took over Pluto, Neptune, and Uranus.  Eventually these creatures invade Mars which had been terraformed by humanity.  On the planet named after the war god the two races have their showdown.  There is a lot more in the scrawl about tactics and such, but the English is barely comprehensible.

Story:
After the incomprehensible opening screen crawl, we are treated to a scene of a Golden UFO being gunned down and two soldiers prying the hatch open.  Inside they find a beautiful, normal, blond woman.  Captain Akuh, a wounded field commander, is returning to the front lines to command the biggest, newest, shiniest, most amphibious ship in humanity's war on the gods.  His mission is to disrupt the enemy forces' supply lines.  When Akuh arrives at the Martian Spaceport he is greeted by his former subordinate commander as well as blaring wartime propaganda.  The announcers let people know that the gods' spies could be watching them at any time.

The key to effective propaganda is subtlety

Two emphasize this point two human terrorists open fire in the spaceport.  They are quickly eliminated by a woman Akuh knows all too well, his ex-girlfriend Lieutenant Darsa.  After exchanging a few professional pleasantries the two agree to meet for drinks later.  Akuh gets to check out the space forces newest ship which is actually his old ship the Aoba, fitted with the latest engines making it twice as fast as other ships, and new torpedoes making it twice as deadly.  After his tour he meets up with his ex for a date that seems to be boring them both out of their minds.

"Do you want to sneak out while pretending to use the bathroom or should I?"

After enough booze has been consumed the tongues start wagging and Darsa tells Akuh about the job she had interrogating the god pilot that had been captured from the crashed UFO.  The pilto's memory had been wiped but after space-waterboarding the enemy Darsa started hearing the voices of the gods.  The gods told her mankind was given Earth and by colonizing Mars humanity had essentially spit in the gods' faces.  Thus the war.  After this happy conversation the two army officers go back to Darsa's place for some recreational drug use and violent sex.  Also, the whole tryst is being watched by some creepy scientist dude using a special space scanner of some sort.

It isn't creepy if I can quantify this experience and make a graph!

During the heights of passion Darsa gouges Akuh's back with her nails.  She is kind enough to patch the wound with artificial skin after she comes down off her drug high.  Akuh and company are back at the shipyards the next day overseeing the completion of their vessel.  Akuh's commander and newest recruit chat amiably about dogfights until a woman in a Chinese dress approaches them.  She points an odd looking device at the grizzled older warrior and blasts him with a psychedelic light.  The soldier spills all of his secrets much to the satisfaction of the woman who walks off leaving two very confused men in her wake.

I'd expect the younger soldier to stop this breach of security

The crew is informed they have 2 days of free time before deployment, so Akuh takes the opportunity to go on a drive with his formerly ex girlfriend.  They have sex again and once again they are watched by a creepy man.  As Akuh is applying mayonnaise to his sushi later that night he is approached by the creepy man who introduces himself as Coleman, head of the intelligence division.  The intelligence department lost some vital information at the same time Darsa transferred and Coleman is trying to track it down.  He believes Darsa has been subverted by the gods and warns Akuh to look out for strange behavior.  Then Coleman steals the Captain's mayo-drenched sushi.

Strange?  Like someone eating mayonnaise sushi with a fork?

The woman in question is currently hearing voices telling her to flee the city before the gods smite it.  The next day Akuh takes part in a new mandatory screening to prove he isn't being subverted by the gods.  As it turns out the woman is the Chinese dress earlier was Dr. Lee, a military psychologist charged with detecting soldiers who are being subverted by the enemy.  That is the purpose of her technicolor beam machine.  After his exam Akuh asks the good Doctor what the signs of subversion are.  Lee explains the symptoms are varied, depending on the individual but nymphomania is frequently a symptom.  When Akuh next meets with Darsa she begs him to go to a spa with her and forget about fighting the gods.   He refuses, saying it is almost time for deployment and she starts freaking out, claiming the city will be destroyed.  Then Akuh passes out because she drugged him.  He becomes semi-conscious, finding himself at the spa with Darsa raping him while a group of people watch.  There is a booming voice saying they are the chosen few and all others will be killed.

Letting the priest watch streamlines the eventual confession process.

When Akuh finally shakes off the effects of drugs he is naked in a hotel bed while an equally naked Darsa watches him with a drawn firearm.  Akuh manages to dodge Darsa's attacks, grabs a gun and plugs his lover in the chest.  Immediately Coleman shows up and requests Akuh hand over anything Darsa may have given him during their relationship.  The captain agrees on the condition that Coleman takes a hypnotic subversion test.  Coleman refuses, confirming Akuh's suspicions that the man has been subverted.  The two men fight, first with guns, then with their fists, and finally the grapple each other on a moving jet-ski.  Akuh manages to cuff Coleman to their vehicle and the Intelligence Officer explodes along with the ride as the Captain makes his exit.

"You're subverted!"        "I know you are but what am I?"

Akuh makes his way back to his ship on a second jet-ski while the air raid is going on.  He listens to a message left on his watch by Darsa.  Her final message says the entire Intelligence Department began to be subverted after they interrogated the enemy captive.  She knew the data they obtained would be vital to the war effort so she smuggled it out before their control over her was complete.  Darsa says she planted the information on Akuh's body.  A quick visit to Dr. Lee reveals a microchip as well as a nasty infection lodged in the wound Darsa left during her first drug addled love session with Akuh.  His crew joins the fight against the gods and the battle goes in their favor until the enemies ultimate submersible carrier "Hell" appears and the battle is called off.  The top brass decides to give Akuh and the Aoba the task of destroying Hell, unassisted by the rest of the fleet.  Fortunately for Akuh, the chip inserted in his back contains schematics for the Hell Carrier.

According to the blue prints hell has 9 levels

Akuh's tech officer, Dalton, decodes the blue prints and finds Hell's armor is much too thick for conventional weapons, and the weakest point of the armor is on the underbelly of the beast.  The viewers are treated to a bit of back story for the major crew members at this point.  Dalton tells the captain he is determined to destroy the gods because his wife committed suicide after she was captured by the gods in an effort to make the techie switch sides.  The Commander reveals to the new recruit that he was the only fight pilot to survive a battle with Hell years ago and he wants revenge for his men.  The Captain begins hallucinating, imaging Darsa in front of him, naked with a bloody hole in her chest.

Even in death she suffers from nymphomania

On the day of the battle the Admiral gives the order to destroy the gods satellite network and sends a jamming signal to make it harder for the Aoba to be detected.  Akuh and Dalton figure out that the Hell has been disgusting itself by manipulating sandstorms.  Akuh's crew shoot massive, troop-carrying drills into Hell.  Most are destroyed but the one holding Dalton, Akuh, Lee, the Commander and Recruit all make it in in addition to a few nameless others.  This elite unit makes its way through Hell until they are attacked by gods on hoverbikes.  A frantic fight knocks off the helmet of one of the enemies, revealing the same face as the enemy combatant captured by Intelligence years ago. 

They're either clones or they all have the same horrible fashion sense

The named characters all make it to the engineering room of Hell unscathed except for Recruit who disappears during the battle.  Akuh sets a powerful explosive in the center of the engine room and starts the countdown.  A weird, multicolored mass engulfs Dr. Lee, Lieutenant Dalton, and the Commander.  The alien substance causes them to hallucinate.  Dalton see his dead wife asking him to come home, the Commander sees his dead wing-men cursing his name and Lee sees nothing, presumably because she is the most mentally balanced member of the crew.  Akuh's hallucinates the time bomb morphing into Darsa (naked as usual).  Darsa begs Akuh to disarm the bomb and he starts to comply.

Usually men try to turn girls on, not turn them off

Dr. Lee turns her portable hypnotic device on Captain Akuh which breaks the aliens hallucinogenic hold on him.  Akuh throws a grenade at the ship's core which dispels the rest of the crew's bizarre dreams.  They now have less than a minute to escape before the Hell Carrier is blown to.....well...hell.  There doesn't seem to be nearly enough time to make it out until Recruit shows up in one of the alien UFO ships.  The crew piles in get out with barely a second to spare.  Now that Hell is no more, the humans have the advantage and the crew of the Aoba revel in a job well done.  The End.

Victory!

Why watch?
1. Hallucinations - There are some genuinely creepy images when the Aoba crew are being subverted by the gods.  The illusions play with their insecurities and fears the way only gods can.

Dang it Ghost Girlfriend! I'm trying to work!

You already let me die once! Never Again!

You have a little something....on your mouth...never mind.

Why not to watch?
1. Unresolved Plot - We never really find out what the gods truly are, why two of their fighter pilots have the same face, or how the subversion works.  I'm okay with the vague explanation of the first point, but I'd like to know the story behind the second.  The third would just be a nice bonus.

Behold the face of a god!  Or maybe all the gods?  We don't know

2. Religious Metaphors - This may or may not be fair, given this title was made in 1993 but it has some ideas that hit a little close to home with current fears about home grown terrorists and religious extremists.  The idea that people can become agents of the enemy, even against their own will is troubling even without mentioning that the enemies are known as "gods."  This isn't necessarily bad, but it carries a different meaning know than may have originally been intended.

Undercover terrorists listening to the voice of gods.

Should you be watching?
When I originally chose to review this title I had planned on giving it a "Don't Watch" tag.  Then I watched it a second time for the review it was a lot better than I remembered from years ago.  The characters are decent, and the story is mostly serviceable.  Some of the story aspects are kind of tacky, such as the "blossoming terrorists are nymphos" bit.  This movie is watchable, but it doesn't feel whole.  If the story was a bit more complete and tied up a few more loose ends I could recommend it.  As it is though I'll leave the choice to you.