Pet Project Part 3: Mr. Stain On Junk Alley

I usually review titles at least ten years old.  I'm breaking that rule this week for the sake of a title from 2003 I don't think has gotten nearly enough attention.  This week we'll be looking at a bum and his cat in:

 Background:
Released By: Funimation
Length: 120 minutes
Year of Production: 2003
Language: None
Available on Netflix: Yes

"Ga-Ra-Ku-Ta: Mr. Stain on Junk Alley" takes us back to an older era of cartooning.  It features no dialogue and relies completely on music, facial expressions, and sound effects to relay the characters' emotions.  The episodes are only 7-8 minutes long except for the last episode which is 30 minutes.  I first saw an episode of this (Ep.7 Cassette Tape to be precise) as a special feature on another Funimation release, I forget which one.  A couple years later I found a used copy and got to see all of the glory of Mr. Stain.

This Week's Pet
This week we get to meet the man-sized, sweater-wearing, creepy cat Palvan.  Again, I'm not sure "pet" is the right word for Palvan, but he seems to depend on Mr. Stain enough for food that I think it counts.  He and Stain have a tenuous relationship.  Palvan will steal food if the opportunity presents itself and he is vengeful if wronged even slightly.  While Mr. Stain tries his best not to harm other living beings, his cat has no such qualms.  Palvan may seem completely self-centered at first, but he has saved Stain on numerous occasions and does seem to have feelings for his fellow street creature.

That lizard looked at him funny

 Story:
Since Mr. Stain on Junk Alley is a series of shorts, I'll be doing this review a bit differently.  Instead doing each of the 14 unrelated stories individually I'll be presenting 2 of the short episodes and the longer, 30-minute finale.  Each story starts off the same basic way.  Mr. Stain finds an item in the trash and then weird things happen depending on the article found.  We'll start with a seemingly innocent item from Episode 5: Magic Crayon.

You'd think magic crayons would come in more colors

After finding the crayons in the trash Mr. Stain decides to draw a portrait of his good friend Palvan.  He opts to add a little flair to the picture and draws a bowl of oranges on the cat's lap.  This seems all well and good but the bowl materializes in Palvan's hands spooking them both.

Not oranges!  Anything but oranges!

Realizing the potential of this glorious item to end his constant hunger, Stain goes outside and draws a giant wedding cake.  Not to be outdone, Palvan draws a 10 foot tall donut, which crushes Mr. Stain.  Understandably upset, Stain knocks the sketchbook out of Palvan's paws and it land on a broken bottle, ripping the face out of Palvan's portrait.  You can probably guess what happened next.

That looks will catch on eventually

This disfiguring predicament turns dangerous when night falls.  The void in Palvan's face transforms into a black hole at night for some reason, consuming all he looks at.  Not being the most forgiving type, Palvan hunts down Stain to exact his revenge. As Palvan attempts to destroy Stain, the bum tries to redraw the cat's face, a thought that might have been more useful earlier.   He manages to draw in all but the eyes before the crayons are absorbed by Palvan.

A super-powered, giant cat bent on revenge is not the best pet

As Mr. Stain is being pulled toward Palvan he retrieves two of the oranges from earlier out of his pockets and manages to shove them into the gaping eye sockets.  This ends the terror of the localized black hole, but not the terror of Palvan.  Since Stain mostly fixed his face, Palvan mostly forgives him.  There is still the small matter of his eyes however.  To make things fair, Palvan removes one of Stain's eyes and replaces it with an orange.  Now the two each have an orange for a left eye.  This change is apparently temporary and gone in the next episode.

King Solomon would be proud

Now on to the second of the short episodes, Episode 13: Human

Keeping the abandoned child theme for the month alive!

Mr. Stain starts the episode finding an abandoned baby in his usual pile of trash.  This freaks him out and he tries to cover it up with a pot to disguise it.  The crying baby will not be ignored however, so Stain ventures out of Junk Alley to steal baby supplies.  On his way back a cop spots him and tails him back to his crumbling, condemned building.

The cop almost look like a baby too.

Stain does his best to care for the baby, heating up formula and feeding with the bottle.  Unfortunately he is a bit overzealous with the feeding and the baby ends up asphyxiating on the bottle.  The poor baby's soul ends up leaving in the form of a blue butterfly.

The Silver Lining on the dead baby situation, pretty soul butterfly

Mr. Stain chases the soul-fly to where the cop is lurking.  The cop swats the soul-fly and then stomps it into oblivion.  A grief stricken Stain attacks the cop but the cop fights back.  Mr. Stain is at a disadvantage, not having a steady supply of food and all.  He gets beaten badly and as he limps away to nurse his wounds the cops shoots him from the back.  Because he can, that's why.

That cop ruined his tattered rags

Stain shuffles back to the baby's corpse, holding his bullet wounded arm.  He decides that in order to make amends for his involuntary manslaughter, he'll give the baby his own soul.  Mr. Stain causes himself to gag and spits up his own soul which he places in the baby's mouth.

Another danger of bulimia, loss of soul

The baby comes back to life, but Stain's lifeless body slumps and falls off the roof.  As luck would have it, he lands right on top of the overly violent and pudgy cop, killing him dead as well.  Palvan comes stumbling out of the trash and snags the policeman's soul which he then implants into Mr. Stain.

It took all of his willpower not to eat that soul

Stain and the baby are fine and everyone eats donuts to celebrate.  They all live happily ever after, except for the cop, but he was a jerk so who cares.  What we've learned from this episode is that the soul acts as a battery and not as a vessel for your sense of self.

We also learned Palvan looks fabulous in hats

Now we move on to the conclusion.

I wish he had picked up that xylophone instead

Stain starts rocking out on his new found instrument, at least as well as one can rock a harmonica.  A beautiful woman in the luxury apartments across the way hears him and responds with her piano.  The two play a lovely duet but Stain hides before the woman, Lifa, can see him.  Mr. Stain can see her though and he falls in love immediately. 

Beautiful, Talented, and Single.  Rarer than a giant yellow cat.

Lest you find it odd Mr. Stain fell in love so easily, let me fill you in on a little something.  He has fallen in love twice before.  In Episode 3 Portrait he falls in love with a picture of a traditional Japanese woman.

The perfect wife never talks back....or at all

After that torrid affair, Stain falls for a bizarre half-woman half-flower in Episode 10 Seed.  So the actual, human woman is a huge step up for him.

The pollinating was a bit tricky in this relationship

Stain decides to write her a love letter, but being mute and apparently illiterate, he just draws a heart instead.  He then recruits a small bird to deliver the letter, but sadly it is not a strong enough flier to make it to the apartment.  Mr. Stain decides to train the bird with weights and in karate.

Making the breast meat firmer, plumper and juicier

With his upgraded powers, the bird is able to fight the wind and hit the window of Lifa's apartment.  Unfortunately with the window closed the bird bounces off.  Lifa hears the noise and opens the window just as the karate trained bird tries to bust through it.  Lifa takes the full force of his blow and smacks her head on the wall.

Lifa is not pleased and possibly a zombie

Before she has a chance to kill the bird who gave her a mild concussion, it hands over Stain's "letter."  Lifa is so touched that she gives the birds donuts and kisses.  Unfortunately for Stain, she assumes the letter is from the bird, not him.  Stain gets depressed and mopes naked in front of a mirror.  He feels ugly and unattractive so he tries imagining himself as a fit, handsome stud to boost his self-confidence. 

He has major self image issues

Mr. Stain's next plan is to win Lifa's heart with a flashy show of affection. First he gets the Toy Robot that came to life in Episode 8 to fire a grappling hook to Lifa's balcony.  Stain then attempts to cross the tight rope carrying flowers, another love letter and wearing a bow tie.  How adorable!  Mr. Stain begins walking the rope as thunderclouds gather above.

Maybe he could get work at the circus

Mr. Stain starts dodging lightning bolts as he attempts to get to the balcony.  One of the lightning strikes hits the robot which transmits the shock along the tightrope.  Stain jumps out of the way and the bolt detonates Lifa's apartment causing a massive explosion.  Or so we think.  That was actually a fantasy, and Stain takes the zap to save Lifa, then he falls to what should be his death. Lifa tries to coax out her harmonica playing mystery friend with more music, but Stain's lungs are full of black death, so he can't respond.

I prefer my bums medium rare

The tables are turned and Lifa starts spying on Stain and trying to sketch his picture through brief glimpses but her artwork sucks.  A weird blue-haired version of Lifa encourages her to keep drawing.  Stain meanwhile is depressed and turns to the bottle, thus confirming all stereotypes of what the homeless do with any money they get their hands on.  Mr. Stain's handsome reflection gets annoyed at this development, so he pulls the real Stain into the mirror and takes his place. 

Let me out of this existentialist nightmare!

Handsome Stain, H.S. for short, tries the same tightrope walking trick as his creator.  He dodges the lightning easily, and when one bolt travels up the line again he leaps to the balcony and kicks the line free before the electricity can strike.  There he confesses his love to Lifa who is understandably creeped out by the hobo in her home.  He proves himself with the harmonica and then the two get all lovey-dovey.

Would you like Coffee, Tea, or Me?

Regular Stain, still trapped in the mirror, attempts to climb the tightrope again.  He makes it to the balcony to get a glimpse of H.S. and Lifa making out.  At this point Stain decides life is not worth living and falls to his possible death, yet again.  Upon landing, the mirror breaks and he is freed.  Meanwhile H.S. and Lifa try to duet but Lifa can't keep up with her gorgeous counterpart and their music is terrible.  She humors him briefly until she hears the real Mr. Stain playing in the alley.

She humors Handsome Stain anyway because he's beautiful.

Stain and Lifa try to run into each others' arms but take different elevators and thus miss each other.  Lifa looks for Stain in Junk Alley and witnesses the terror that is Palvan and his little baby tag-along from episode 13 as well as some of the Pylons which are large, terrestrial crabs wearing traffic cones.  She runs screaming onto the roof where the sound of Stain's harmonica was often heard.  Stain meanwhile finds H.S. picking his nose on Lifa's couch and watching violent movies.

No need to be sexy when the ladies ain't watchin'

Stain sees Lifa terrified on the roof and attempts to call out to her, but the glass door is stuck shut.  He gets his former bird friend out of its cage in Lifa's apartment and attempts to throw it through the window.  Birdie isn't thrilled with this idea and turns the attack on Stain, tossing him out the window at Lifa instead. The two collide and explode somehow.  As they hit the ground they hold hands while possibly suffering massive, life threatening injuries.   

The Power of Love is a dangerous thing!

Poor Handsome Stain, left all alone decides to dance a progressively angrier dance as the credits roll.  Eventually Lifa's alter ego, the one with the blue hair and the really short skirt, beckons him back to the mirror world.  The two couples live happily ever after, or so I assume.  I don't know how Stain moving in with Lifa affected Palvan and the baby who are presumably still out on the street.  The End.

We can assume they died of hunger, exposure, or police brutality

Why watch?
1. Catchy Ending - There is a catchy little number at the end of each of the episodes.  It showcases all of the characters from the episode dancing and then shows every character from the entire first 13 episodes.  The dancing and catchy music will get stuck in your head.

Everybody Dance!

 2. Very Clever - Mr. Stain on Junk Alley has a unique style and sense of humor.  It can trend a bit dark at times but this is a very different show with some very unusual comedy.

I dare you to find another show where a sentient glove controls a cat's brain

Why not to watch?
1. Sound effects - This show clearly had no budget for sound outside of the ending theme.  A lot of the sound effects are clunky, especially in the first few episodes.  It may seem to be a minor point, but in a series with no dialogue it has a major impact on my enjoyment of the series.

Palvan's footfalls always sound out of place

Should you be watching?
I would recommend this title to most people.  The content is somewhat dark, the humor rather odd, and the CG a bit unpolished but it all comes together very well.  There aren't many titles with this type of style and that is on of Mr. Stain's selling points.  The unique setting and the use of a bum as a main character also adds to the uncommon nature of this series.  If there were more Looney Tunes-esque computer animated cartoons out there it is possible Junk Alley wouldn't be so endearing.  There aren't and it is, so go check this one out.