Smackdown Toons Part 1: Variable Geo

The month of April will be dedicated to anime involving characters beating the living daylights out of each other. Nothing too fancy just an excuse for battle.  Our first entry is a title of questionable taste based on a fighting game even more questionable taste:

Background:
Released By: ADV Films
Length: 75 minutes
Year of Production: 1996
Language: Sub and Dub both included, Dub reviewed
Available on Netflix: Yes

Variable Geo is based on a series of hentai fighting games made for consoles and PC.  This OVA is based on Advanced Variable Geo which was released on the Play Station and Sega Saturn.  The general premise of the V.G. franchise is that waitresses from various restaurants fight in a tournament for a chance to win $10 Million and a dream house built anywhere they would like.  Losers are forced to strip in public.  The tournament is financed by the restaurants as a massive publicity stunt.

The Fighter
Yuka is the primary protagonist in this OVA, she is a straightforward girl who believes she can understand her opponents by exchanging blows.  This is not an uncommon sentiment in fighting anime.  Her only reason for entering the tournament is to test her skills against motivated opponents.  She is childhood friends with Satomi and the two share a strong bond.

Putting on a show for the crowd

Story:
The show opens with Yuka trying desperately to get to work on time.  This is apparently a frequent problem as she is subsequently chewed out by her manager.  Yuka is saved from further embarrassment by the  arrival of her latest challenger in the V.G. tournament.

Hidden arenas all over the city

Yuka's opponent is an Olympic-class wrestler named Jun.  The two brawl for a while until Yuka's best friend Satomi shows up to watch the fight.  Empowered by her friend's presence, Yuka fires off a massive energy blast to defeat her opponent.

You'd better leave a decent tip for this waitress

Here we learn about the philosophy behind V.G., "Glory for the winner, shame and humiliation for the loser."  The fights are rated on levels 1-5, the higher the level of the fight, the more extreme the fight, the more extreme the humiliation.  Even though they only had a low level fight, Jun accepts the full punishment and disrobes in the middle of the ring.

V.G. is a true spectator sport

A second fight is going on at the same time featuring last year's runner-up, overseen by the head of the V.G. tournament and reigning champion Reimi.  She takes a twisted pleasure in watching the humiliated looks on the losers' faces.  Reimi has even manufactured a drug that will force a woman to strip herself when it is applied.  

Icy stare, silver hair

A large, thuggish man named Damien approaches Reimi and asks permission to enter Yuka's friend Satomi into the tournament.  He senses great potential in her, but Reimi denies his request.  It is against the rules for a participant to be forced to enter, and late entries are highly unusual.  If only there were some way to encourage her...... Cut to Satomi visiting her sickly brother in the hospital.  His condition has mysteriously worsened and the only cure is an insanely expensive surgery.

The doctor's highly detailed medical charts

This turn of events leads Satomi to join the tournament.  She has her first fight in a night club with a purple-haired club hopper.   Satomi has trouble keeping up with her opponents dance like moves, a problem she solves by firing an energy blast similar to Yuka's finishing move.

Clothes cannot contain her powers!

Yuka, meanwhile, is taking a leisurely motorcycle ride with her new friend and former opponent, Jun.  They discuss the developments in the V.G. tournament until Yuka senses something.  She feels a strong opponent just behind her and, like any reasonable person traveling over 60 mph down the highway, she leaps out of her vehicle to punch the driver in the car behind her.  Reimi matches her blow and nothing happens.  Yuka somehow gets back on the motorcycle and the episode ends.

My road rage has never gotten quite this bad

Episode Two opens with Satomi agreeing to enter the tournament.  After Damien agrees to pay her brother's medical bills, Satomi leaves a bloody farewell note and disappears.  Yuka meanwhile takes off for Osaka to meet her next opponent.  If all these plot threads weren't enough to keep track of, there is also a spy sneaking around Reimi's company.

Elevator Infiltration Complete!

The ninja-spy, Chiho, is discovered by Damien and flees to the roof.  Bad move, as she runs into Reimi.  The two battle briefly until Chiho makes her escape through a skylight.  In a classic case of out of the frying pan into the fire, she lands in a fighting arena where Satomi awaits her.  Something seems off about Satomi, her eyes glow blue and she moves like a person possessed.  She quickly eliminates the ninja.

Apparently to the Japanese blue eyes are a sign of evil

Jun and Yuka arrive in Osaka where a pint-sized, pink-haired girl named Manami fondles them and agrees to escort them to their opponent.  This time Yuka has to fight a woman in a bunny costume and her entire entourage of similarly clad cheerleaders.

I would love to know which restaurant they're from

The bunny girl is an American who bears a grudge against the Japanese for mocking her as a child.  She materializes her hatred of the Japanese into energy bursts to attack Yuka.  This ceases to work once Yuka agrees to take on the Bunny's hatred.  There is a brief moment of pure, sisterly love before Yuka pounds the snot out of Bunny.  Yuka, Jun, and Manami return to Yuka's dojo where they are ambushed by a creepy, emaciated man.

In addition to being a villain, he has a side job as a model

Creepy dude dispatches Manami and Jun with one punch each and then pummels on Yuka for a while.  A mysterious old man shows up to save the girls, but doesn't have to do much as the lanky man collapses and mumbles something about "being out of time."  As if on cue a scientist comes rushing out of nowhere, injects creepy dude with something, and drags him off to safety.  Episode 2 ends with Satomi waking up in a lab and staring directly into the camera.

Staring directly into the 4th wall

Episode 3 opens with Reimi staring down at her mother's grave.  She reminisces about the days when her mother performed horrible experiments with the intent of increasing Reimi's fighting abilities.  Memories!

If only you lived long enough to experiment on your grandchildren!

Yuka starts the episode talking battle theory with the old man who saved her last episode.  They prattle on for a while trying to give a show about scantily clad waitresses who get their clothes ripped off some philosophical significance.  Yuka's view is that people understand each other when their fists meet in combat.  Not an entirely original view, but there you have it.  While these two are chatting Super Cyber Satomi shows off her new powers by beating up another V.G. opponent.

Ummm Ref?  I think she might be using performance enhancing.....well.....everything

The fight is going very well for the mindless Satomi until Reimi crashes her car through the arena walls.  Reimi is able to handle Satomi with minimal difficulty until her mother interferes from beyond the grave.  A seed implanted in Reimi years ago sprouts and saps her energy.  It also binds her in a rather suggestive fashion.

Reimi is highly seeded in this tournament.

Yuka senses something is wrong with her bestest friend and gathers her team of easily K.O.'d allies to raid the V.G. arena.  They are greeted at the door by the ninja-spy who has apparently been brainwashed and now fights for Damien.  Yuka leaves the ninja to her super team so she can move on to final battles.

The Super Friends they are not.

When Yuka enters the arena she is met by Damien.  He pops a handful of pills and transforms into the creepy, lanky man from the night before.  They fight for a bit, matching each other blow for blow.  Damien takes a turn for the worse when the side effects of the drugs kick in.  He loses all self control and massacres the onlooking scientists until Yuka purifies him with an energy blast.  Energy blasts solve all problems in this show.

Side-effects may include; rabies, halitosis, weight loss and murderous impulses

Yuka is finally able to get to the center of the arena where Satomi is located.  Her friend is being possessed by Miranda, the deceased former leader of V.G.  Miranda agrees to release Satomi in exchange for Yuka's body.  Yuka considers this offer briefly but instead uses the power of friendship to banish Miranda into the cyber-enhancing machine.  Yuka and Satomi then use power of love and even more friendship as well as energy blasts to destroy Miranda's ghost.

Double energy blasts solve tough problems twice as fast

With Miranda gone, the defeated V.G. fighters return to normal and everyone lives happily ever after.  To celebrate the end of hostilities and honor their friendship, Yuka and Satomi decide to fight each other at full strength.  The End.

Friends forever, or until untimely, fist-related death

Why watch?
1. Excellent example of the genre - Anime based on video games are, on average, terrible atrocities.  Anime based on fighting games tend to be the worst of the bunch.  There are some notable exceptions such as Fatal Fury and, surprisingly, Variable Geo.  V.G. has a decent, complete plot and manages to work in a lot of characters in a manner that doesn't feel forced.

They fit in as many scantily clad women as possible

Why not to watch?
1. Battle philosophy - Hearing people yammer on and on about the ethics of punching each other in the face doesn't appeal to me in the least.  I don't care that your hand can be a tool or a weapon.  I don't care that there are winners and losers in a battle and you feel the losers are the true winners.  Shut up and fight.

If fictional characters debate in a forest, does anyone care?

2. Ridiculous premise - This could really be a pro or a con depending on how you look at it.  Scantily clad waitresses pummeling each other for fame and fabulous prizes?  Maybe if they worked the whole restaurant angle a bit more it could be entertaining, but the idea seems very half-baked in the OVA.

Those weapons have no theme, at least hit me with a frying pan or a giant carrot

Should you be watching? 
One of the best anime based on a fighting game.  Sadly that isn't saying much.  If you've played the games, which have never been released stateside, I would probably recommend this.  As it is, I would suggest skipping this one.  If you want to see scantily clad waitresses there are a number of American restaurants catering to your tastes.  Don't know if any of them plan for fights, but you might be able to start one if the tips are high enough.